I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
 |
|
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
There was an old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sex, pull on my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my dick one hundred times."
Q: Why is sex like math?
A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three hos.
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
लडकी- यार ठण्ड बहोत पड रही है, मेरे होंठ फट गए हैं...
लडका- अरे पगली अभी तो शुरुआत है, आगे आगे देख क्या क्या फटता हैं
पप्पू की क्लास में टीचर ने बच्चो को समझाते हुए बोला, बच्चो, गरीबों से हमेशा प्यार से पेश आना चाहिए।
पप्पू एक दम से बोला: अच्छा, अब समझा।
टीचर: क्या?
पप्पू : तभी पापा नौकरानी को गले लगाते है,
मम्मी दूधवाले को और दीदी ड्राईवर को।
Pappu apni nokarani se bolta hai..
Pappu : Chal Chal jaldi se panty Utar..
Aaj karne ka jabardast mood bana hai..
Nokrani : Sahab maine to painty pahni hi nahi..
Pappu : Hat behench0d sari mood ki maa chod di..
Anguri bhabhi Doctor ke paas check up karane gai..
Doctor : Mubak ho aap maa banane wali hai..
Anguri Bhabhi : Hum kai bar bolte the unko ” kam dam ” lagao..
” kam dam ” lagao ..par o sunte hi nahi hai ..
Doctor : Wo ” kam dam ” nahi kondom hota hai..
Anguri Bhai : Sahi pakadhe hai…
Ek kuwari pregnant ladki se Doctot ne puch :
“Ye sab kaise huwa ?”
Ladki : Jab mummy papa movie dekhne gye the toh,
Boyfriend aaya tha ghar pe , Ussi ne kiya ye,
Doctor : Tum kyu nahi gai movie dekhne..
Ladki : Wo Adult movie thi….
Ek ladki baba ke paas gai ..
Ladki : Baba ji mujhe bhavishay dekhna hai..
Baba : Thik hai , Kapde utaro aur ghodi ban jao..
Ladki : Baba Aap mujhe chodna chate ho..
Baba : Dekha tum dekhne lagi na bhavishay….
jokes adults
Ek bache ke jute ke lase khule huwe the,
Wo apni madam se bolta hai..
“Madam jara mere lase bandh dena”
Teacher : “Nahi tu mujhe jhukake mere chuche dekhta hai..
Bacha : Nahi madam isbar mere dosto ko aapki gand dekhni hai.
Ek Bar santa ke ghar me chor aaya..
Santa ne usse piche se pakad liya..
Santa Pappu se bolta hai.. Pappu beta iski gand mar..
Pappu ne kafi koshish ki par uska land andar nahi gaya..
Santa ne pappu se bola ye le churi gand fad se iski..
Chor ghabarate huwe bola..Sahab ji Ek bar thuk lagake try kar lo…
jokes adults
Ek bacha apne papa ke sath sarak pe ja raha tha,
Usne sarak pe kutta kutiya ko karte dekh liya,
Usne papa se pucha ye kya kar rahe hai..
Papa soch me padh gye..
Kafi sochne ke bad papa ne jabab diya..
“Kutta Kutiya ka sahara le ke chal raha hai.. ”
Bacha : Fir isme kutiya ki gand marne ki kya jarurat thi…
Wife apni chuche jor jor se hilane lagi,
Fir Apne bache ko dudh pilana suru kiya..
Husband : Ye kya kar rahi thi ?
Wife : Ji mai milk shake bana rahi thi !!!
jokes adults
Ek constructor ki suhagraat thi..
Usne jab apni biwi ko langa dekha to hairan raha gya..
Constructor : Tumne mujhe dhokha diya hai !!
Wife : kaise ?
Constructor : Tumhe jab sagai ke time dekha tha to tumhare b**bs badhe the..
Abhi ye chote …
Suhagraat pe pati ne bola mujhe kuch nahi aata..
Patni : Jaisa jaisa mai bolu waisa hi karna !!
Pati : Thik hai ..
Patni : Pahle apne kapde utaro..
Pati patni dono ne kapde utar diya !!
Fir patni bed pe pair failake leet gai..
Pati bhi pair faila ke leet gya ..
Patni : Sale ek kam kar..
Bahar se 2 aadmi le aa..
Jo teri aur meri marega…
Ek jawan Ladki doctor ke paas jake bolti hai,
Ladki : Doctor sahab meri chut bahut badi ho gai hai..
Doctor chut dekhte hi bola : hey bhawan,,,, hey bhawan,,,, hey bhawan,,,,
Ladki : Aap tin bar kyu bol rahe hai…
Doctor : Bol nahi raha..
Awaz gunz rahi hai
Pappu apni biwi se bola ,
“Ek glass dudh dena”
Biwi : Apna bra utha ke boli,
Muh laha ke pilo..
Pappu : Teri inhi harkato ki wajah se
mai kabhi pani nahi mangta…
No comments:
Post a Comment