A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds “Wife Wanted”.
The next day, he received 1000 of replies,
all reading: “You can have mine.” Free delivery also available at your door step
Teacher: Agar koi moti ladki palat ke waapis aae to,
is sentence ko English mein kya kahenge?
Pappu: "Gol Maal Returns!"
Banti: Aadmi bina koshish kuchh nahin ban sakata.
Papu: kyon nahin ban sakta? abhi kal ki baat hai ki main bina koshish ke bada
Bhai ban gaya.
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funny short jokes |
Pappu: Papa ghar mein mehmaan aae hain aur sharabat bnaane ke lie nemboo nahin hai, ab kya karoon? Santa: abe, darata kyon hai? nae Vim Baar mein 100 neemboo kee shakti hai, daal de 2 boond beta!...best jokes 2017
Santa selling parachute.
U Can Jump from plane & press button & u can land safely.
Customer: if parachute doesn’t open?
Santa: Paisa Wapas
Doctor: Do you smoke?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Alcohol?
Patient: Yes, every day.
Doctor: Exercise?
Patient: Never.
Doctor: Girlfriend?
Patient: Many.
Doctor: Can we be friends?
Q. Aap me aur Pepsi me kya Similarity hai?
Ans: Both r cool, sweet, Sub pasand karte hai aur most important similarity is
Dimaag wali jagah DHAKAN hai........short funny jokes
funny short jokes
How to be Insulting in Hotels: Call room service last thing at night, when the kitchens have just been locked, and ask for a cheese sandwich and a glass of fresh milk. Make sure that you leave them untouched and conspicuous the next morning.
Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!
Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Norma Lee
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I have my key, can you let me in?
Knock Knock! Who's There?
Cheese
Cheese Who?
Cheese a jolly good fellow!
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Howdy
Howdy Who?
Howdy I get in?
The doorknob is stuck!
Knock, knock! Who's there?
A little girl
A little girl who?
A little girl who can't reach the doorbell.
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
That's a great TV show, isn't it?
funny short jokes
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Adore
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Needle
Needle who?
Needle little money to buy lunch today
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Noah
Noah Who?
Noah good place where I can get something to eat?
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe Who?
Canoe help me find a gas station around here?
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can't buy more?
"You look very funny wearing that belt."
"I would look even funnier if I didn't wear it."
A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
You can use this joke to explain that insulting someone is considered funny especially when that person is fishing for a compliment.
Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you're pretty ugly.
"Do you know what really amazes me about you?"
"No.What?"
"Oops.Sorry. I was thinking about someone else!"
funny short jokes
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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