Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
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funny quotes |
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. -
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep.
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. -
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.
If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.
There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.
Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.
I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!
If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.
-Unknown
I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.
-Unknown
You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.
-Unknown.
funny quotes
Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’
-Cookie Monster
Me and my best friends can communication with just facial expressions.
-Unknown
Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.
-Unknown
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money
funny quotes
There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.
You don’t lose friends because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends and you’re better for it
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’
Groucho Marx
The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
“You’re the friend I’d feel the worst about killing in a post apocalyptic death match for food.”
“No matter how serious life gets you still going to have that one person you can be completely stupid with.”
“It’s nice to have someone in your life, who can make you smile even when they are not around”
“Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets”
funny quotes
“A true friend never gets in your way, unless you happen to be going down” – Arnold H. Glasow
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